Sep 10, 2011
Falling Slowly
I’m sitting outside on the porch. It’s 68 degrees, Fahrenheit. The high today is only 71. It’s weird to wake up to a day that has pretty much already settled in.
Bad weather means I don’t have to go outside, I don’t have to take advantage of every single minute of my life and live as fully as possible. I’ve always been better at sitting back and contemplating. Nostalgia is my favorite emotion. -Natty Soltesz
I read this yesterday and it made my heart soar. Soltesz nailed something about me that I hadn’t really considered, but I related to it instantly.
In a conversation with someone the other day, I wrote, “I’m prone to… romanticizing the more rural part of my existence. It always kicks in this time of year when the weather starts to cool down and I find myself falling back into a rural Gothic mindset and crave Stephen King novels. It doesn’t help that, today, I’m working out of my old community college, about ten minutes from where I grew up. Think more ‘rural Missouri’ than St. Louis. Think ‘Meth Capitol of the World.’”
I think that it’s my Pavlovian response to fall, that the end of summer will always reconnect me to “the new school year,” whatever that may be. I’m only thirty; new school years weren’t all that long ago. Fall reminds me of my childhood, and my childhood reminds me of home. I love summer, I love being able to strip out of (most of) my clothes and step outside, I love being able to bike in the park, I love being able to sit out on my porch and drink a beer. When I was in my early 20′s, the onset of Fall always meant the impending arrival of Winter, with our life-stopping snow and ice storms. I hate driving in the snow.
Now I enjoy Fall for what it is: a relief. Late summers in Missouri can be toxic. This year, we went through the same stifling heatwave that most of the country did and going outside could be downright oppressing. Fall means the end of that. Fall means sweaters and, yes, Stephen King novels.
I’ve been posting a lot of jack off videos lately. I don’t know why. I think I’m just perpetually horny right now.
I got up early in the morning, and had to take care of my morning wood.
